the turning point

2009-12-01T00:26:00.002+08:00

Its econs paper for me tommorrow and I am still here! Not that I totally don't care about econs already but i really cannot understand some of the stuff. Perhaps its my lack of interest but well its too late to introduce any form of interest into econs now.

Shall make this post a short one before I go back into trying to study for econs.

Today went out to play soccer in the evening despite having an econs paper tommorrow. I wasn't very guilty though, maybe because soccer has become a neccessity for me. I cannot imagine if one day the government ban soccer in Singapore, I will definitely be the first one to stage a protest.

Anyway, before soccer started I decided to go and do some pull-ups at the fitness corner behind the soccer court. The fitness corner had no lights at all. Running towards the fitness corner, I saw a bush and I estimated that I should be able to conquer that bush with a leap. Yes, I did jump over the bush but never did I know at the other end was a low bar on the ground and I trip right over it, sustaining a bruise on my ribcage. The moral of the story is, don't take any risk when the other side is dark. Risks are important in our lives. People say, life is a gamble and I agree with it because some decisions in life are really made with risks. Its ok to take risk, but never take any risk when the other side is dark or cannot be seen. Therefore, always take calculated risks or risk ending up injured or with a bruised ribcage like me.

Ok, back to studying econs. All the best to me!

2009-11-26T03:27:00.002+08:00

I'm having my bgs exam tommorrow. Not very prepared for it. Its 3.30am now already and I just want to come here and write something. There are many things I would like to write about but currently do not have to mood to write them down. That's just me, always procrastinating about the things I want to do. I am not a man of my word. I don't keep promises. Especially promises to myself. Sometimes I just feel like I am not kind towards myself. HAHA.

Argghh. Don't know how will I do for my BGS tommorrow.

Hmm. Recently I have been feeling guilty. So many secrets I have kept from people. The feeling of guilt is building up. But I know I cannot reveal these secrets. But time is runnning out. I hope everything will be over soon. When I was young, I always hope for time to turn back. But gradually as i grow up, I know it is never possible. The only direction now is for me to look forward. Hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel and that tunnel would not be too long till the end.

When I was in secondary school, my chinese teacher taught me a lesson about turning point in life. He say that in everyone's life, there is bound to be a turning point which will eventually shape the person into what he is. I agree with him, but I find that there is not just 1 turning point in our life only. Life is about many turning points. Where are the turning points then? They are all around us. People around us are the turning point which shape our lives. Every single person in our life has a role to play, our neighbour, our teachers, our friends, our loved ones, our enemies, or even the auntie who sells you char kway tiao. I must say that the person I am now is certainly because of the environment I was brought up in. But I am not ashamed of what I am now. I am happy that at least I am still alive here able to write on this post. I just hope that one day, I could be directed towards the right direction to become the person that I want to be and I hope that the people around me could be positively influenced by me as well! <-- ALL CRAP

I am really tired of my current status in my life already. I need a new change! I need something to light up my life! Where is it????

2009-11-21T02:21:00.002+08:00

well, its been months since my last post and i am quite suprised that this blog is still in existence. many things have indeed happened in the past month. There were ups and downs in my life and i keep telling myself that i should not complain about the downs in my life because everything that happens to me will help to build me up in one way or another.

Hmm. just an update on my life.
-In university now. Exams coming soon !!! omg..
-Finances -> not doing v well
-Health -> not bad. haven take my ippt yet but been hitting the gym often.
-Love -> single and available! haha. though i still haven gotten over her.
-Family -> Great. but still mourning the passing away of my maternal grandpa.

Overall mood -> not so good!!! but trying to be optimistic.. Please give me smth to smile for in my life...

Been procrastinating alot these few days. Procrastinating on plenty of things. One of those is to create a blog or a diary to write about things i encounter in life and my thoughts about it. Basically I want to write about living. So many things happen around us everyday. Some went unnoticed, while some are noticed by us. I like to daydream and think about stuff. To be able to think is privilege and I want to put down my thoughts in somewhere. Thus, today i am here to revive this blog. I will TRY my best to come and write about the little things in life that are often unnoticed by us most of the time. I duno if there will be any readers but i hope to express my thoughts about my viewpoint of life here in my life journey.....

like this blog title suggest, until i collapse, this blog will continue to exist!

something to write..

2009-04-21T02:09:00.002+08:00

many things haven happened since my last post..
-i've gotten back my pink ic after 2 years of national service
-i'm now working at the airport as a temp job
-my grandfather isnt feeling well in recent times, i hope he gets well soon..
-i've gotten a driving license finally after 3 attempts..
-and many many more miscellaneous things that im too lazy to elaborate..

suddenly got the urge to come to this blog and just write something on it..
life has been pretty alright for me so far since i ORDed.. managed to get a job for 6.94 per hour at the airport.. transport there plus meals are expensive but i still earn abit from the job and i hope to be able to save ard 1,500 by the end of june.. despite having a rather stable n balanced life for me now, somehow i want more things in my life.. am i too greedy or ambitious in a bad way.. or will this greed n ambition turn out to be good for me? i keep telling myself to be contented with a simple life but sometimes i realise i cant live with a life that is too dull and simple.. despite having great frens around me and family members who really care, there are still times when i felt lonely and this isnt a feeling that i like at all.. maybe i need more things to happen in my life to remove the loneliness and ocassional void in me..

ok i felt much better writing out what i want to say..

shall move on to recent things that happen in my life..
hmm.. recently been quite happy with Chelsea's performance in recent game.. their never say die attitude n never giving up mentality really inspires me and make me feel proud to be a chelsea fan..
last saturday went to take part in a mahjong competition.. the previous year i took part in it too and came in 4th missing out on the cash prizes in the top 3 placings.. in the end the consolation prize for me was a rice cooker which is stll lying intact in my storeroom now.. anyway the competition was ok and i acheived my own target of getting into top 32.. in the end i was contented as i played till the last 16 before being elinimated.. after that went to play bowling followed by a nice dinner at this Jade of India restaurant which serves authentic Indian cuisine.. love the bryani and the mutton curry..
today went out early in the morning to play bowling again.. this time played 3 games cuz the games are like super cheap, only 1.50 per game! anyway won a side bet with my fren so got a free game.. but we played pool afterwards and i must say i was owned by him.. almost died todae as well.. we did something stupid when we decide to cross the road at bukit timah road near King Albert Park there.. instead of the usual overhead bridge, we decided to use the railway track bridge beside it.. halfway on the bridge, someone in front of us signalled to us something.. my alert fren immediately sensed something wrong and called for us to run.. we did and to our relief, 5-8 seconds after we reached the other side of the bridge and safely on the side of the railway track, a train whistled pass us.. and so we were only a few seconds from making the headlines tommorrow..
after that i went home to get car from my dad a went to celebrate a birthday with one of the sec sku fren.. it was the first time i drove to little india and it was quite an experienced.. anyway picked her up and on our way to suntec which was our dinner destination, i couldnt really find my way there cuz it was my first time driving in town.. but nevertheless luck was on my side and i managed to find my place there.. ate at this restaurant which serves western food i think but the nicest thing they offer there was the chocolate fondue that was super nice and chocolatey.. after dinner sent her back to little india again and this time i made a bigger loop around the city before finally getting back on track to find the destination..
anyway back to reality, i just realised i got work tommorrow afta a 3 days break which seemed pretty long.. will be back to the airport tommorrow to try and keep myself occupied and entertained for 7 long hours..

1 down.. 2 more to go.. will they come through?

2008-07-13T03:43:00.002+08:00

Its 3.45am now and i am super bored and just happened to come across this old blog of mine..

took a look at the last entry and realised that it has been more than 1 year since i posted and the last post was just before i got enlisted..

now i am just 7months away from ORD.. can sense it coming liao..

i must say that ever since i got enlisted, my life have been quite dull.. when i book out, its either i go mahjong or soccer or find frens to drink and chat..

really looking forward to university now even though it is like one whole year away.. think i am more or less decided on my SMU social science course already..

shall try to write more frequently when i have the time or if there are interesting events in my life.. =)

2007-04-11T23:05:00.000+08:00

in less than 9 hours i will be in tekong..

its going to be a turning point in my life.. will i turn to yet another rocky path? or will i turn into a smooth concrete path?

something else other than NS is bothering me now.. feeling vexed..

hope things will change when i get out of my confinement in 2 weeks time..

2007-04-11T00:38:00.000+08:00

just coming here to write one last post before i become a part of the SAF.. need to report to tekong by 8am on thursday..

duno what to look forward to in NS.. i guess the most important thing is to make good friends and buddies in there that will be with you through the toughest trainings and the lonliness that will set in gradually.. hope to experience different things that i never get a chance to experience in my city life..

im going to miss out on a lot of things when i am in tekong.. things like the release of some great movies, the release of linkin park's new album, chelsea's march towards to premiership title and champions league and FA cup etc.. feels like i am so detached from the world when actually i am still in singapore.. haha..

anyway, hope that 2 weeks will be over real soon and i can be back here talking about great stuff that happened to me in tekong..

SAP

2007-03-29T23:49:00.000+08:00

got a treat from my boss today after work because tommorrow will be my last day of work in the company.. suddenly realised that i have worked there for 2 and a half months already.. had a great experience and i learnt a few things about warehouse management as well and most importantly is the friends i made there..

got to know great buddies like shunren, trey and ivantay.. aquainted with this uncle called lee who is in his 30s who has a really interesting character.. he is such a simple guy and he is really 'cute' and funny at times.. others like bingyi, uncle sam, uncle seng, ahkiong, ahyong and louis are also fantastic people who i met in the warehouse..

had great times in the warehouse.. still remember the paper aeroplanes that we folded.. playing big2 at the back of the warehouse.. the different hiding places that we discovered within the piles of books so that we can slack there.. the throwing of paper balls at each other.. making a soccer ball out of the paper and tape that we found there.. the frequent pestering to the financial department for our pay.. throwing of books all around when we were lazy to return them.. the incident where we were all stuck in the lift.. the radio call in to 98.7fm.. the climbing of shelves and hoping from one shelf to another like a monkey.. mimicking some of our colleagues favourite slogans.. sleeping like a log at the back of the warehouse.. the string wrap competition with one another.. we were there for each other at all times.. it was never hard to find help in the warehouse.. although the job was tough, the help and understanding between us made every work much easier..

here are some pics i took from the warehouse.. scenic views from the warehouse(spot one book that do not belong in the warehouse in the 3rd pic).. i will miss the climbing and taking photos from the top.. haiz..

tommorrow got SMU interview in the morning.. hope it goes well..

2007-03-15T23:42:00.000+08:00

i have not been updating for the past 2 weeks already.. its not that i am too busy to write on this blog.. its just that i have nothing much to write about these days..

its less than a month before im going to tekong for NS.. duno whether to look forward to it or not.. but one thing for sure is that i am looking forward to studying in university.. i guess i would most probably be enroling in social science in SMU.. i chose SMU because they have impressed me with their flexibility and all rounded education which i guess other university is not able to offer..

kinda disappointed that i ain't going to hongkong or genting's.. many factors causing my withdrawal from the intended trips with friends.. anyway, finally got close to 1000 dollars of savings.. 2 and a half months of working and i finally reached the milestone..

hope to quit my job soon and get some free time before my army.. i can use the free time to go train my fitness, get a book to read, watch all the movies that i have or go out with friends..

2007-03-03T03:35:00.000+08:00

finally the long awaited results came.. my grades were A for math B for chem and C for bio.. its a satisfying result for me but it came as a shock that i did betta for my chem than bio.. overall i was glad that my school had did well but it was also quite sad to see some of my close friends getting emotional when they didnt acheive what they expected.. just hope that everyone i know regardless of their results can have a bright future ahead..

went for my company's dinner just now.. it was SAP's 30th anniversary.. the dinner was fun and it made me feel like a part of the company.. afta that went out with the warehouse people to celebrate our supervisor's last day at the company.. we had a great time talking to each other and through the conversations, i learnt alot from them.. never regret taking up this job cause through the job, i learnt about many things in life and i made great friends who has taught me many things as well..

now that the results are out, i must decide on what course to take in university.. today while waiting to enter the room before the dinner, there was a fortune teller outside giving free service.. i went for it and she told me that i might be unemployed for a period of time.. so i guess i must take my course selection seriously and make sure that i will be employed afta my university graduation..

2007-02-27T00:30:00.000+08:00

its just 4 more days to the release of my alevels results.. there's this mixed feeling about the release of my results.. i am excited to know my results but yet i am worried and anxious about the outcome of it.. what am i going to do if i cannot make it to university? will my efforts pay off? i must say that alevels have been a gruelling process.. its the first time i felt stress when i was studying for it and it was also the first time i am so worried a few days before the release of the results.. praying hard..

chinese new year this year was quite ok for me this year.. its not really very fun but it is not awful either..

my supervisor in the warehouse is leaving soon.. i guess there will be some major changes in the warehouse soon.. recently work has been quite slack and we were even playing cards for leisure during times where there is nothing to do.. there's a company dinner this friday.. which is also the day of my release of a levels results.. hope that it will not affect my mood for the dinner on the day..

i need a extra spark to light up my dull life..

cough cough

2007-02-12T23:37:00.000+08:00

the flu has just subsided but the cough came right after i recover from my flu.. damn..

been coughing for the last few days and its getting worst.. hate my nose and throat.. always giving me problems.. my cough and flu is something seasonal.. they will come once in a while but when they come, they attack me with disastrous effect.. haix..

finally played soccer last saturday after a few weeks without the usual saturday soccer.. supposed to have a great afternoon playing soccer but there was this injury in my foot which affected my game.. anyway, the new paper came to interview us for the weekend warriors.. unknowingly, i realised that the group of us have already been playing soccer regularly for three years.. hope that we can continue this close bond between us and the soccer sessions with resume weekly for many years to come..

two more days to valentine's day and i have no date!!!! buts its normal lah.. have already spent the last 18 14feb alone le and this year will be no difference.. haha

heard that results will be out on march 1st or 2nd.. praying hard again.. pray pray pray..

chinese new year coming soon.. so much fun awaiting..

stuck..

2007-02-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

long time since i wrote.....

hmm.. i have been slowly getting use to my warehouse job already.. it may be really very boring but it is quite slack sometimes.. sometimes we even create a havoc in the warehouse.. perhaps the best thing about this job is that i have made a few good friends who all have an interesting character..

went to national stadium to watch singapore vs thailand today.. had fun cheering for singapore and shouting our hearts out to keep the lions going.. singapore eventually won 2-1 where their 2nd goal was from a controversial penalty.. it was a great experience but there was a very disgusting incident.. the wind was so strong in the stands and there was this guy who spit something out of his mouth which was destined somewhere else but the wind somehow blew it onto my leg.. it was damn disgusting as it was orange and yellow gluey substance..

another unfortunate yet funny incident happened to me today at the warehouse.. me and my friends took a break and went down to the ground level to get a drink.. then, as 4 of us took the cargo lift up to the warehouse, the lift was stuck at the ninth floor.. the door could not be opened no matter how hard we tried.. we called our supervisor for help but to no avail.. it looked destined that we have to wait a long time for people to rescue us when miraculously the lift door opened a little.. just as we were about to walk towards the door, it shut on us again.. "damn, gave us a false hope" i thought.. just as we were about to give up, the door opened again.. this time we quickly took a plank in the cargo lift and support the opening to make a small gap.. it was not big enough for us to go through.. so we tried to lift the door up but it was just too heavy for us.. out of a sudden, the lift door opened till halfway and it caught us by suprised but we managed to quickly scrambled out of the lift in case the door close again..

come on chelsea

2007-01-21T01:02:00.000+08:00

chelsea lost 0-2 to lpool today!!! damn sad lah.. but i guess they deserve the defeat because chelsea weren't themselves today.. the only few players that was playing their hearts out for chelsea was cech, essien and drogba.. chelsea just did not look like a team today..

ok.. enough of the sad stuff.. today worked half day.. went to bt timah to eat and then went to ngee ann open house..went there with one of my work friends shunren because he wanted to see the buisness course there.. so he go there see course while i go there look look and walk around.. after that went to gervas house to catch the lpool chelsea match with one of gervas friend.. found a fellow chelsea supporter there but chelsea let us down today..

collected my first paycheck on wednesday.. finally got some money to spend.. have been working in the warehouse for 2 weeks already.. i must say it has been tiring and i really feel like quiting the job most of the time.. the job has gave me a sore back, tired fingers, injured feet and a few cuts here and there.. furthermore, the OTs everyday deprived me of much of my time.. i guess i will be working till the end of the month and im currently on the look out for another job..

new job..

2007-01-09T22:49:00.000+08:00

have been working for 2 days in my new job.. it is in this warehouse which belongs to singapore asian publisher in bukit merah.. my job is to carry books around and take stock from all over the warehouse.. the good thing about this job is the freedom of speech as you can talk as you like while doing your stuff but the disadvantage is that it is a rather hot working place.. furthermore everyday i have to take a 1 and a half hour ride to work place each day so it means i have to wake up at the usual time that i wake up to go to school.. the job is also rather physical and i have been climbing alot of shelves and i guess i will soon be able to be a rock climber.. although its tiring from all the climbing and the carrying of heavy books, i just hope that it can help in getting me fit to be prepared for NS..

speaking of NS, today after work went to eat sakura international buffet with the bgang people to have a meal with those people enlisting soon.. hope they enjoy themselves in tekong..

weekend of fun..

2007-01-07T20:04:00.000+08:00

my weekend started off with mahjong at my pjc friend's house.. played 2 rounds and won 3 dollars..

after that i went to meet yishin and jackson at bukit panjang interchange and we took 75 down to zouk to support yuhao in the inter jc pageant.. however, it turned out that the 3 of us did not know which stop to alight so we had to try our luck and with some help from guoxing, we managed to alight at the right stop.. met up with guoxing, alison, yongkang and bugger the pageant was nice.. they got a good host, justin ang of 98.7fm and they got some good looking contestants.. the question and answer was also hilarious with some of the contestants giving silly answers.. the pageant ended at 10plus and we clubbed till 3plus.. quite a suprised for me when i saw desley there too.. one of my very good friends last time which i haven met up in a long time and it was great to see him there.. dancing was fun but i guess there werent much pretty girls down there so its kinda sian..

after that went to yongkang's house to sleep for awhile before setting off to redhill to play soccer with the innova soccer team guys.. played el krados and we drew 1-1 although the scoreline could have been much more for us.. we had no substitute and in the second half, i was feeling rather sick and had to take a rest.. i guess it was the lack of sleep and my empty stomach which caused it..

anyway, i've just quited my waiter job and tommorrow i will be going to work at a warehouse as a packer..

late..

2007-01-02T19:35:00.000+08:00

yesterday i went for an interview and i met another latecomer.. i was supposed to be be meeting the manager at 3pm but he only arrived at the restaurant at 5pm..2 hours of my life just wasted away by latecomers such as the manager.. time is money and wasting away my time is extremely costly.. i could have done many more things in the 2 hours.. if you set a meeting time, u must make sure you adhere to it.. being late for 15 minutes is the maximum in my opinion and any more than that will be unacceptable..

however, i am also guilty of being a latecomer myself.. i guess this is part of 'evolution'.. i used to be a punctual person but through the years, latecomers gradually enter my life and in order not to wait too long and waste away my time, i tried to be late sometimes so that i need not wait that long like a fool..

one of my new year resolution is to hope that everyone can try their best to be punctual and spare a though for others by not being late.. time is precious and we should not waste away other people's time..

hope singapore can set up a punctuality campaign..

today work at the italian restaurant in holland v.. its named al dente if im not wrong.. worked from 11 to 3.. learned a few things except learning how to take order.. hope to master more things so that i will not be standing around most of the time having nothing to do.. actually i hope to receive other job offers too so that i can change job.. part of the reason is that holland v is quite far and having to travel so far just to earn 20 a day isnt really that worth it..

2006-12-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

im pissed now..

2006

2006-12-26T23:56:00.000+08:00

2006 is coming to an end and out of a rating of 10, i will give this year a rating of 6.. so its an average year i must say.. good things and bad things all happened this year..

realised that i watched a lot of movies this year.. i tink the movies i watched this single year is more than the total number of movies i watched before this year.. waste a huge amount of money watching movies this year.. some were nice, some were bad.. some of the movies that were nice were snakes on the plane, battle of the wits, happy feet, night in the musuem, x-men3, step up, and tokyo drift.. hope to cut down on the number of movies i go to watch next year.. watch too much movies is not good for my wallet..

perhaps one of the happiest moment this year for me is when my school soccer team won the north zone touranment.. although it was only a mini-touranment, it meant a lot to us as it gives us the confidence to work as a team and play to our best.. it was certainly a great experience with the innova soccer team people and the addition of influential coach dalis to our team is simply crucial to us.. hope to continue to play soccer occasionally with the innova soccer people..

alevels this year was nerve wrecking for me i must say.. it was the first time i felt so stressed up.. found a really good place to study at bukit timah macdonald.. studied there since one month before the alevels.. i am really thankful to the staff there because they never chased people that are studying there away.. hope that the results will not be disappointing for me nxt year.. aiming for a B B B for my papers..

started this blog in around september this year.. hope to continue it even after i go into NS.. i guess this blog is a really good avenue for me to vent my frustrations and write what i feel.. although i must admit that i am not very good in putting my thoughts into words..

looking forward to better things in the next year.. 2007 please be good to me!!!!!

family chalet..

2006-12-18T16:53:00.000+08:00

spent the weekends in a safra chalet at changi with my paternal extended family.. went there on saturday evening and just returned home this morning only.. played some mahjong there (but without money), played ps2, bingo and watched epl.. the everton vs chelsea match was a sensational game as chelsea came back twice from behind to clinch a victory with 3 stunning goals..

really enjoyed the company of my cousins for the last few days.. despite only meeting each other occasionally for such family outings, we share a rather close bond.. one of our favourite game is big2 and there is often much excitement during the game..

had a really bad flu yesterday.. how i wish i can have a nose transplant to get rid of this probematic nose i have.. arghh..

took a nap just now and dreamt of many things.. sometimes i really wish that dreams can come true.. been saying this many times though i know that it simply just wouldn't happen..

by the way, the hongkong trip is cancelled already.. no plans till now..

looking for a job currently, ran out of things to do already.. life after exams isn't as wonderful as i thought..

virgin prom

2006-12-09T23:35:00.000+08:00

its been 4 days since my virgin prom but i am only going to update on it now.. part of the reason is that i want to update with some photos.. but i did not bring any camera on that day and i had to resort to going around to get some photos from my frens..

went to vic house before the prom to get dressed up and to put my bag there.. asked iswan to get me a last minute tie from 77th street.. afta that took a taxi down to swissotel merchant court.. the prom was not very fun as i thought it would be but it was still a nice feeling attending my first prom night.. the food were slightly below average and the programmes were rather boring.. the best programme was probably the lucky draw which i failed to get any prize..

after prom me and my class took the last train service to somerset and we went to cinie.. had coffee first before going to watch a movie at 2.30am.. we watched tenacious d.. jack black is really a funny guy but the ending was a little too abrupt.. but nevertheless, i would give the movie a rating of 3.5 out of 5 stars.. after the movie it was around 4 plus and we went to youth park to sit down and rot.. played truth or truth and luckily the questions posed to me were relatively ok.. went the train service resumed, we went to yishun for a mac breakfast and i went to vic house to take my stuff and reached home at 9plus..

hmm.. here are some of the photos.. still trying to get more photos from my frens..

05S21 !!! ( the most important guy is always in the middle )

Pw group mates.. (absentees: tyng cheong)

Me and the prom king..

Me and Iswan before prom at vic's house..

Me and fellow bpian danis..

The hunks from 05S21..

down on luck

2006-12-05T03:38:00.000+08:00

have been rather unlucky these days.. keep losing when i play mahjong.. i tink i am going to abstain from it for a period of time first before i start playing bah.. my luck now is really damn bad..

realised that in my previous post i was too critical of my mother.. she might be strict sometimes but she is a loving and fantastic mother.. just hoping that we can agree on some things that we often have opposing views soon..

tml will be my first ever prom night.. stupid bpghs denied me of my first prom night.. have bought most of the clothes that im wearing but i duno whether it will look nice or not.. hope that it will not be disastrous..

just borrowed a book on psychology from the library.. realised that it is a very interesting subject and the book has further confirmed my choice of subject to study in the university.. just hoping that the results will go well.. i think my scripts have already arrived in england already.. wonder how are they doing now..

i know that late nights are not good for health but i just prefer to sleep late.. maybe its partly because of my sleeping habits.. im a person who cannot get to sleep easily so i need to get really really tired then i am able to doze off into dreamland..

2006-12-02T00:18:00.000+08:00

supposed to be enjoying the period of time after exams but i have been rather troubled..

one of the reason is the relationship between me and my mother.. she is a good mother, no doubts about it but sometimes i just feel bothered with some of the restrictions she has on me.. since young, she has a reputation of being a strict mother.. but as i gradually grow up, she became a friendlier mother to me, always talking to me like a friend.. however, ocassionally, her nagging and her way of thinking often clashes with me and results in unhappiness in both parties.. there are some things which she does not understand sometimes.. for example, she doesnt like me to go to my friend's house to watch soccer because she sees no difference between me watching with my friends and watching alone at home.. since young, she has also disliked me playing soccer because she felt that it was a very rough game.. i wasn't allowed to follow my passion and join soccer in primary school and secondary school because she simply do not like me to play competitive soccer.. although i did joined soccer eventually in jc, i felt that i should have been allowed to join a cca that i like when i was in primary and secondary school.. yes, sometimes i understand that she does everything for a reason and that it is her way of showig her concern for me.. but these disagreements and clashes really bothers me..

hoping that things can improve and turn out better..

emptiness..

2006-11-27T02:12:00.000+08:00

exam is over but there's a weird feeling in me now.. this feeling is hard to describe but the best word to describe it is emptiness..

maybe its because suddenly there's no pressure on me to do well academically and there are no deadlines ahead for me.. i am trying to find joy and fun in this period but sometimes a surge of emptiness just hits me and my mood will be adversely affected..

i think i am going to find a job soon.. the reason? simple.. i nid $$$.. and partly its to earn enough money so that i can go to hongkong with the bgang guys.. i think they are going in january so i need to get a job to earn at least a few hundred to fund myself for the trip..

was pretty glad that the bgang saturday soccer was resumed.. it was a session with plenty of action and fun as usual and of course there were the funny moments and freak goals ocassionally.. playing bridge was our favourite wet weather program.. afta the soccer session we went to hongyun's house to rot.. everyone was tired and were just lazing around.. saw a few of the bgang guy's partners and i felt happy for them as they found someone and got themself out of the single status(for those who haven, jiayou).. we found the dices and the tools for the ji bao sai zi le game and we played.. whacking each other's hand and the funny moments took away the tiredness in all of us..

hoping that the emptiness will go away soon and i can find a job real soon..

2006-11-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

today was the last day of my a levels exam.. 12 years of education has ended in an instant.. however, it was a rather normal day for me as i did not experience any outburst of emotions when the chief examiner announced the end of the examinations.. my mind was just thinking, " it has ended.. now what? "

i remembered mr loh once told us his theory that examinations are just small humps in our journey in lives.. the 2 greatest thing that is going to make an impact in our lives are our careers and our marriage.. this 2 are the deciding factor of how our life is going to be.. i haven experienced both of this yet as i am still considered a young person at an age of 18 years old.. assuming that i am able to live to a ripe old age of 80 years old, i am only 1/5 through my whole life.. what matters is the next 30 years of my life as the first 18 years is only a warm-up stage.. am i prepared for the next few years to come?

i am starting to tink about a lot of things about life ever since coming to the end of my 12 years of education..

hope whichever path that will be in front of me now can show me the way to a type of life that i wanted

2006-11-21T22:30:00.000+08:00

yesterday went to guoxing's house for mahjong after my bio paper.. finally touched the mahjong tiles after a long time.. the feeling was nice but it was greatly reduced by the fact that i was rather tired because i only slept abit the night before.. biology paper 3 was alright, but i felt quite a waste that those things i studied very hard did not came out..

today went to vivo city to look around for prom clothes before going to orchard to walk around.. after that went to cine to play winnning eleven.. although i did not buy anything in the end but i briefly have some idea of what i am going to wear for the prom already..

but the most important thing now is that i need money before i can get the things i want and also for entertainment.. i guess i will start to get a job in mid december.. hope to find a really nice and fun job with moderate pay..

lacks match practise..

2006-11-18T00:52:00.000+08:00

my fitness is at its lowest now.. just like in football manager, my condition now is lack match practise.. more than 1 month since i played the beautiful game and it has caused such devastating effect.. played soccer in school today and i realised that my stamina has taken a huge plunge.. only 10 minutes into the game and i was panting and exhuasted.. a levels has took away many things from me and my fitness is one of them.. damn.. a few more days to end of exams.. hope to play soccer regularly and be able to regain my fitness soon..
today chem paper 1 was the hardest paper so far i have already attempted.. chemistry has been a disappointing subject for me this alevels.. hoping for a C.. it isn't too much right?

2 more papers to go but i have already lost much motivation and the willpower to study on already.. tried my best to study the past couple of days but to no avail.. one side of me is telling me to enjoy and relax while the other side of me is telling me to peservere till next monday..

its been a long time since.......

dreams..

2006-11-15T00:03:00.000+08:00

yesterday i had a really nice dream that totally brightened up my day.. i feel that dreams are important in our lives.. not the aspiration type of dream.. but rather the sleeping type of dreams.. it doesnt matter whether it is a really nice dream or a nightmare, it a certainly has it purpose in life.. a nice dream will give you a good start for the day because it will bring up your spirits.. on the other hand, a nightmare will make you treasure some things more and not take some things for granted..

today had my chem paper2.. 3 more papers left.. went to watched step up today.. i would give 3 stars out of 5.. but i feel not enough dancing scenes in the movie.. but it was still a good movie in the end with nice dances..

sinful day..

2006-11-12T01:12:00.000+08:00

the traumatic week was finally over.. it felt like reaching the shore after swimming in the sea endlessly.. math is finally over.. still have bio paper1 and 3 and chem paper 1 and 2 to go..

today went to beauty world to study as usual.. it rained just before i went out, so i stayed at home first and i was tempted by my brother to play one game of dota.. went i finally reach beauty world, it was already 3 and i studied until 6 before going to singapore pools to place some bets.. waste of money.. then we went to eat and after eating, we played a few rounds of bridge and realised that we had no mood to study already and we succumbed to our temptation as we went to play dota in the nearby lan shop.. maybe its ok for me because i only have 2 relatively less demanding papers next week but the rest have physics next week.. quite sinful when i think of it now.. supposed to go to beauty world to study but end up relaxing.. but then again, it really helped to remove some stress.. anyway, hope that after playing dota just now those having physics next week can do well.. but they end earlier than me! arrgghhh..

chelsea won 4-0 again.. woohoo.. but i lost money in soccer betting again.. haha..

in the midst..

2006-11-07T20:43:00.000+08:00

in the midst of my exams now.. today had biology in the morning and math in the afternoon..

biology was ok i think.. i think i might get a B if i dun screw up my other papers..

math today was a little disapointing.. made many careless mistake.. the usual me.. haix.. calculated around 34 marks gone.. hope paper 2 can do better.. hoping for a B for math as well..

tommorrow will be the chem paper.. this is the subject i have least confidence in.. hope i can do the whole paper with ease tommorrow..

soon..

suicide bomber

2006-11-06T11:57:00.000+08:00

i feel like a suicide bomber now.. ready to explode anytime..

the alevels is a monster.. its stretching me apart.. first time feel so stressed out by studies..

chemistry, biology and math is haunting me everynight before i go to sleep.. whenever i close my eyes, organic chem appeared, equations came into my mind and biology diagrams filled my mind.. its just like everytime after i play mahjong then at night i will keep dreaming of mahjong.. its the same feeling..

its the first time i feel i ever studied so much but i am still not feeling confident.. previous major exams i also never really study so much and i still acheived my target.. but this time, in my opinion, i feel i studied a lot but i duno if i will acheive my target or not.. i have been lucky twice.. will i be third time unlucky?

arggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

on the bright side, i have no other worries except for the a levels.. so that's a good thing..

got a long battle ahead from tuesday to thursday.. hope can come out of it victorious and unscathed.. im praying again.. last minute hug buddha's leg hoping he can help me..

GP..

2006-11-02T23:51:00.000+08:00

the first paper of my a levels is finally over..

i feel that i tried my best but i do not know whether the grades that i will get will be what i desired (C or B) or not.. i feel i could do much better in my AQ and my paper 1 essay but i guess it is no use crying over spilled milk now.. i guess i will just focus on my other subjects now and stop thinking about GP.. hope that the markers in cambridge can be lenient and can at least let me pass my GP..

after GP went to beauty world to study with alison, guoxing and wenhao.. it has turned into my favourite hangout place to study for this a level examination.. after the examination i may miss the place but right now, i cannot wait for it to end.. the next week is going to be the most crucial week for me.. i know i keep saying this but i shudder at the thought of it each time i am reminded that i have 4 papers in 3 days..

although studying at beauty world today is not very productive, but it has relieved some stress off me when we chat and joke and play stupid games like the modified scissors paper stone game..

7 more days to more freedom and 21 more days to total freedom.. im waiting..

the dark suckers..

2006-11-01T03:29:00.000+08:00

saw this theory on the dark suckers that my fren told me.. rather interesting and crappy i think.. haha..

THE DARK SUCKERS

The Dark Sucker Theory For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.

philosopher..

2006-10-30T21:54:00.000+08:00

You scored as Philosophy. You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence.

Philosophy

83%

Biology

75%

Anthropology

75%

Psychology

75%

Mathematics

67%

Dance

67%

Theater

67%

Journalism

67%

Sociology

67%

Art

67%

Engineering

67%

English

50%

Linguistics

50%

Chemistry

25%

took this quiz that i found on yishin's blog.. rather interesting and i found it rather true.. i really love to think alot about life.. i guess if i was born much earlier, i would have been one of the famous olden days philosopher.. read a comprehension today talking about artificial intelligence and humans and i conclude that what makes human so distinct from others is the ability to think.. thinking is a very important aspect of life and it can certainly do wonders.. haha..

tired hands..

2006-10-30T01:16:00.000+08:00

decided to take a break from studying today and went out with my parents for breakfast and after that i went to a distant relative's place which is up on a hill on choa chu kang.. my father wanted to go there to strip some cable wires to retrieve the copper inside to sell.. recently my father has been doing this to earn extra money after work and today me and my brother decided to help up with his work..

initially, i was stunned by the size of the cable wires becuase they were around 4-5cm in diameter and each was ranging from a length of 1 metre to 2 metre.. some were easy to strip but some were not as the rubber insulator had already melted into the copper inside.. different tools were used and my D&T skills were put to test.. using a hammer and a spanner, i had to slowly knock open the cable wires to separate the copper from the rubber insulator.. it was definitely something much more fun than studying and i finally sweat for the first time for around 2 weeks.. i really miss the weekend soccer and i have not exercise much in the past few weeks.. i found out that each Kg of copper extracted sells for $16 and i thought it was a rather good price because copper is a transition metal and it has a high density due to its small atomic radii and high atomic mass.. however, i also found out that the cable wires were bought at a rather expensive price too and thus, the overall profit was not very high.. but at the end of the day, i did not regret stripping the cable wires instead of mugging at home.. it was all worth it..

my nose is super sensitive today.. argggh... izzit the haze coming back? or izzit my stupid nose trying to be funny.. damnit..

im praying hard for my a levels now.. at this stage, studying will not make much of a difference already.. just praying that i can perform on the occassion and the questions set are within my abilities.. everyone please help me to pray!

tick tock..

2006-10-26T19:59:00.000+08:00

time is ticking away and i am nearing my a levels.. just one month away frm my last paper and 1 week away from my first paper.. i think i will never be able to be fully prepared for it but i just hope that i can perform to my best on the day of exam and salvage whatever marks that i can.. my target is not high actually and its not v low either.. just hope for a humble B B B? trying hard to study now but sometimes i just cannot get into the mood.. hope that my "ammunition" that i have gathered in this 2 weeks before alevels will be enough for the "battlefield" i am entering for the next 4 weeks..

just got my NS enlistment letter also and i am supposed to report to p.tekong on 12th april at 8am.. quie lucky its not on 12th april cause it will be friday the 13th.. i am quite looking forward to NS and the experience i am going to have and also the friends i am going to make.. but at the same time, it will also mean no girls and no going out with frens.. pros and cons.. anyway, it will be a important period of my life during that 2 years and hope it have a good impact on me..

haha.. so many people using my name on the tagboard.. i know i got a nice name but i hope everyone can use their name.. no more imposters!

diligent???

2006-10-17T21:58:00.000+08:00

since i started school, no teacher has ever used the word diligent on me.. i still remember in scondary school, ms tham described me as lackadaisical boy.. chim rite? in simple terms, its lazy.. however, the report card that i just got from mdm lee described me as a diligent boy.. am i really diligent or hardworking now? i wondered myself sometimes... have a changed from a lazy person to a hardworking person? maybe i only appeared to be diligent?

this two weeks before a level is extremely crucial now and i am trying hard to make sure i do some productive studying.. for the past two days i went to macdonald to study from noon to 6pm.. and i will spend another hour at night to look through mathematics solutions.. i do not know whether that is enough but it is definitely a record for me because i feel i have never studied so much in the last 12 years of schooling (sign of diligence?).. for the past two days i have been writing notes for my chemistry and biology.. although it is a slow and painful process and i am only able to write one topic a day, i really hope it can be useful for my a levels.. hope i can keep up my consistency and continue to persevere to have at least 6 hours of productive studying a day until the a levels..

found out one of the imposter in the tagboard le.. still duno the other one but i think i know who is that person.. haha..

innova highway

2006-10-14T21:37:00.000+08:00

just two years back, i had to make a decision.. which way should i take for me to reach my destination (local universit).. i had a variety of choice, altogether 16 highways in total.. initially, i was interested in the anderson highway, but unfortunately, it was too congested and i had no choice but to take another highway.. i heard there was a new highway named innova and i decided to try this highway out.. along the way, i followed the road signs, followed the rules and paid an awful lot of money.. now, i am coming to the end of the innova highway.. will i see my destination in the end, or will i end up in no man's land?!?

anyway, yesterday was graduation day in innova.. we watched a video and listen to speeches by the principal and the student council president and there was some prize giving at the end.. took some photos in class then after that went to consult mr khoo and had a nice little talk with him.. went to watch the departed and i think i will rate it 3 stars out of 5..

hmm.. who is the imposter pretending to be me on the tagboard.. better own yourself up before i find out who you are.. i love chelsea by the way..

psychology

2006-10-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

today after school the school organised a series of talks from universities faculty.. the talks were short but i must say that it is useful to a certain extent.. i went for the science faculty talk followed by pschology and then social science ( consists of psychology, sociology and political science ) and lastly medicine.. and of course i was particularly attracted to psychology and i guess i finally have some target to aim for.. i feel that whatever course that i am going to take, i must have a certain interest in it so that i will not regret my decision.. currently the psychology course looks like a good course for me in university and i shall see how when my results come out next year.. hope that i am at least eligible for university.. haha..

today was the last mr tan biology lesson.. he didn't teach and he shared about his life story and experiences instead.. it is true that mr tan is not able to teach biology very well sometimes but i feel that the life skills that he has always been trying to teach us will be very useful in the future.. some of these life skills that he always says includes building a good relationship with people and also to never backstab your colleagues.. this is so true and i will always remember his words of advise..

celebrated my birthday again today.. haha.. its my birthday on the chinese calender today.. my mother bought a mango cake to celebrate at my grandma house while my grandma prepared steam boat today..

i am going to skip school tommorrow and friday is going to be my last official day in innova jc.. whether or not my choice to come to innova jc is correct doesn't matters anymore as i am reaching the end of jc life and the most crucial a'levels are just up ahead.. hope that i can leave the school as a proud pioneer of the school..

just another day..

2006-10-10T20:55:00.000+08:00

its the last week of school already.. time flies..

just had my last ever mr khoo math lesson.. it was relaxing and enriching as usual.. i must say that he has done enough to try and improve our math and i believe that he has succeeded to a certain extent.. at least i am confident when i am doing ODE questions now..

today is also my parent's 19th wedding anniversary.. and guess what? tommorrow is my chinese calender birthday.. two birthdays in one year.. haha..

just now was watching the xiao qi da cai shen on channel 52 and the girl won the grand price which is a car.. quite amazing.. its the first time i saw people win the car since i started watching the show..

i am so tired from the chemistry test today.. i think i am not going to study anything at night liao..

marriage

2006-10-08T01:29:00.000+08:00

today when i went for a mid autumn festival gathering with my family, i was in the middle of a very interesting conversation..

the adults were dicussing about marriage and how problems always arises and how quarrels come about.. it was rather interesting for me as i was the only unmarried person sitting down there and listening to them.. it seems that marriage is not that perfect after all as there are bound to be quarrels and disagreements..

it is quite hard to comprehend why two people of opposite sex can be so loving until they get married and a war start happening between them.. my uncle was complaining about how my auntie gives him problems and the quarrels that they always get into (of course my auntie was not present)..

at the end of the day, i concluded that marriage can be blissful only if both parties show understanding and tolerance to each other.. hope that my uncle's relationship with my auntie can get better..

zhong qiu jie

2006-10-07T02:20:00.000+08:00

actually i got nothing much to talk about today.. these few days have always been the same routine for me.. i wake up in the morning then go school as usual.. took mock tests then return home and take rest then at nite at around 9 start revise a bit until 11 then sleep again.. boring life arh..

today was much better because i did not touch my studies after coming home from school.. played computer games until now.. i've got nothing to do now so come here and write some stuff..

today is zhong qiu jie or mid autumn festival.. quite a quiet festival this year, maybe because it is near the exams and also the fact that i have grown up and do not celebrate the festival as much as i do when i was much smaller.. i remember i used to go to a nearby temple to celebrate and we will always gather in one corner to play with candles and fire.. it was one of my most 'look-forward-to' festival after chinese new year.. i remember there was one year when my cousins and i played in the street soccer court that is lit up by the candles we put.. it was quite a sight and the experience was unique..

finally the weekends are here and i can finally start kicking some balls again.. will be playing in the routine bgang saturday soccer tommorrow.. i have not been scoring for a long time and i hope i can score a couple of goals tommorrow..

boom..

2006-10-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

my head feels like exploding now.. think its due to the stressful chem mock paper 3 that i had this afternoon.. each time i do a full exam paper i feel my energy drained off (except mcqs of course).

i dread going to school now.. i duno why.. i just find it useless at times.. i rather do my own self revision at home.. i also disagree with the mock exams that the school is making us to take as it is using up most of our energy for the day and it make us so tired that we cannot carry out our revision at night.. maybe its only me who is drained by these mock exams but i am really shagged from the mock exam that i am unable to carry out much revision at night when i reach home..

i tink i am going to pon a few days for this and nxt week so that i can do some biology revision at home.. i am neglecting biology a lot at the expense of chemistry and math.. need to strike a balance..

right now i am sucking my kopiko sweet and doing ajc math paper2.. recently got the mood to do math..

sometimes at night i wondered about what is going to happen in the near future.. how will i fare for my alevels? i have never gotten an A for any subj in my jc life before.. what will i get in the alevels? what will happen to me in the army? what kind of experience will i have in the army? will i get into university? what course will i take in the university? there are so many things i am curious about and i guess only time will tell..

bbq

2006-10-01T01:45:00.000+08:00

woke up at 10 todae den meet up with the bgang people at hongyun house and went to sheng shiong to stock up the things needed for bbq.. after that we went to chee's house to play our routine saturday soccer.. oon was there and his magical presence somehow cause it to rain again.. thankfully it stopped within an hour and soccer was resumed.. last week i missed 4 penalties out of 4.. but this week confidence returned and i scored all 5 penalties..

afta that we went to hongyun house to prepare the stuff for the bbq.. initially the fire was too big and many of the chicken wings were peng until chao ta.. the stingrays were not up to standard this time because of bad timing.. but the curry provided by wenhao was heavenly.. afta that they bought a cake for me and hongyun whose birthday was also on 26th of september.. received a painful birthday bashful from them but i was lucky that arvind was not around because he would have used his indian attack on me..

afta the bbq we sat around together and play games while drinking alcohol.. we played a game adapted from taiwanese gameshow where we take turns to say something that is related to the thing that the person before you said.. and the loser is the one who is unable to think of anything to continue the game and he has to drink a cup.. quite fun and funny as jingsheng said stupid stuff that make everyone laugh like hell.. when he tink of bbq he tinks of laosai and when he tinks of giving birth, he tink of children die.. it was the joke of the day.. we also sang some campfire songs and yishin was the clown with his never ending bullshit..

thanks to all who remembered my birthday and especially to bgang for the cake and the bbq..
and also to iswan for helping me to create this blog also.. =p

new blog

2006-09-28T16:19:00.000+08:00

yea.. i got a new blog.. haven been writing for a long time but suddenly have the urge to create a blog to write some stuff (some crap)..

in a few mins time will be 12am and 30thsept.. and its a special day.. its the end of september.. nothing to do with green day's wake me up when september end.. its simply my birthday.. its my 18th birthday and its like a milestone for me.. of course it means that i can finally bet on soccer legally, watch m18 shows, learn driving etc.. but its also an indication that i should become more mature and not be the old me..

anyway i am also proud to announce that i passed all my subjects for the prelims.. first time in my jc career.. got D D D and gp got C5.. which means all my subjects including gp got between 50-55.. first time results so evenly spread out.. shows that i spent equal time for each subject.. 30 more days to A'levels i think.. seem so far yet so near..

today had one of the most productive afternoon studying in school.. did 10 math qns in ard 2 hours.. and in between i teach joel 2 math questions too.. however my mood todae was immediately dampened by the great amount of homework piled on me for the weekends.. 4 school's six-hours math papers, one full chem paper, biology paper 2 and chem mcq.. i am not superman.. cannot finish one.. anyway tml also got a bbq with the bgang people.. b4 that got soccer too.. so i will be out enjoying myself the whole day..

will be trying to continue to update this blog regularly.. haha..